I’m sitting at the bar at the Westside location of La Cumbre in Albuquerque, and they’re doing something a little different for the second or third year in a row: traditional Kolsch service.
When service was measured differently
Kolsch service is basically beer service using smallish glasses (called a strange) where the service person will simply drop off a fresh glass of beer when your current beer is running low, no questions asked. You don’t have to flag them down, chit-chat or otherwise do anything – the server will just drop another stange off and mark your little coaster with how many you’ve had. When you’ve had enough, you put your coaster on the glass and settle up.
This kind of service is almost 180 degrees from some of the other levels of service I’ve encountered at breweries and taprooms (let alone restaurants that serve beer). In recent memory, I’ve had to literally flag down servers to request refills of our drinks (or to simply order our food). If you’re lucky you’ll get a server that’s decent at their job and will be there to ask if you’d like a refill; with kolsch service, you don’t even have to think about it. Mostly.
And it doesn’t count..?
I’m about to find out how this service runs up against New Mexico’s notorious, self-imposed ‘3 drink limit’ This is an absurd thing breweries post up somewhere in their taproom that places a limit of the number of beers you can order, 3 being a magic number without any other stipulations (food, time spent, situation, etc). This leaves the decision up to servers, who routinely just default to the 3 beer limit thing, no matter how long you might’ve sat at the bar, or how much you spent on food (if they have it). I haven’t run up against this in any place that isn’t specifically a brewery taproom, and it’s a glaring oddity when you consider the lengths places will go to, to get paying customers in the door. Here, breweries almost certainly inflict some damage on their overall revenue by denying customers the very thing they’re in business to provide.
I’ve been cut off by familiar bartenders at my favorite taproom after 2 pints, because they thought I’d been there earlier in the day (I hadn’t been, and I was pissed. I didn’t return for more than a month). It happens. I got over the slight to my pride eventually and returned.
Next weekend
Well, I found out that they’re pretty liberal with the kolsch service, but was too distracted to follow up at the time. These little Stanges go down like shots of beer, and when it’s warm out, the light malty base and minimal hops presence make for a refreshing gulp every time. This brew clocks in at a hefty 4.7% ABV, which is very light – you’ll need to gulp three or four of these things in short succession to get a decent buzz going, but that’s sort of the point of their service. Keep the beer flowing and let the customer pace themselves without interference from the staff. The fact that this is mostly a daytime service doesn’t exactly mean you’ll be taking late-afternoon naps, but it shouldn’t come as a surprise if you’ve got a little yawn going after five or six stanges of delicious beer (at 7oz per glass you’ll have to rack up at least a half dozen to make it worth your time).
This only works with decent servers, though, and when it gets busy you’ve got to be patient when other people are still getting ‘regular; service and the bartender gets caught up pouring a table full of flights. Not needing to ask for another pint makes the experience almost seamless, as it should be. I’ve recently been to breweries where ‘table’ service was an afterthought (at least to the servers) and the kind of presumptive, anticipatory service simply isn’t possible without some sort of management oversight. Like, someone to tell servers to stop chatting their friends at the bar up and hustle a little. Places where you have to wait for your next round of beer are automatically disqualified from this sort of service.
I’m three deep and starting to feel warm in my belly. It’s getting busy in the taproom and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. I’m at the bar, my usual place, a prime position to get a fresh stange every time I look up. It’d be cheaper to buy a tall pint, since I’m a mug club member, but I’m not trying to neck a 20 oz beer; the 7oz profile is perfect for this. I’m looking at the menu for the burger place next door, eyeballing a green chili cheddar burger on the menu. One of the things my favorite taproom could use is food, but I’d be terribly bored with that by now since I’m here x days a week.
I think I’ll play some pinball
I wrote about the attractions of various bars and breweries recently, and pinball falls at the top of the list. Somebody is on the Simpson’s Pinball Party table, which is my favorite, so I’ll have to wait a little while, but the ideal time to hit the balls is when you’ve had enough lubrication to be like, prescient. Plus it blunts the pain if you happen to dump all three of your balls without having much action. Beer is such a flexible tool, after all.
Anyways (terrible grammar, I know) this wraps up another installment of how to do something you already knew how to do (drink beer). You may have to look for a german-focused brewery to get a similar offering, and honestly, most places aren’t going to do anything like a true kolsch service. Best you can hope for is decent, timely service and someone who knows what you’re going to order next. Good luck with that.
I’ll see you next time, when I’ll be reporting from another state that starts with M and ends with etts. Where the beer is just hazy there’s a confluence of distribution from all the best beer places north of NYC. I’ve got a layover at Chicago Midway, and I haven’t looked at my beer prospects yet. I’m not really expecting much….